Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
