Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i came on her dog
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
