So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize