I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
