And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize