I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
