your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
