Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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