Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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