I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
