just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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