OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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