haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
im six kinds of drunk right now
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
