Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I love having hate sex.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
