So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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