how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize