fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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