I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize