watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
