he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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