but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Houston, we have a blender
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
