if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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