you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize