Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
