I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
