She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
