She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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