One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
