last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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