I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize