We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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