I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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