I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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