Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
