you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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