haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize