True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize