Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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