You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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