sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize