She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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