ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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