You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize