She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
