Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if only i could text you this smell
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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