I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
