i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
