I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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