rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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