she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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