whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
