if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
