Will you blow on my dice?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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