Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize