Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
