Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Come share oat with me in your robe
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
