Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
