best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
worst night to have a conscience
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
