Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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